JANELLE:D

Goodbye, for real.

2010-11-29T01:14:00.004+08:00

I just started using tumblr yesterday.
Finally, after five years,its goodbye to blogger.

Okay my final last post.

2010-11-23T03:04:00.002+08:00

Insomnia is driving me mad.
Okay good thing Os are over, I can stay up all I want till I fall asleep. It was torturous lying on my bed for hours, unable to sleep, worrying about not focusing on the morning paper the next day. Ah so phew, Os over can do whatever I want till I sleep.
I finally did quiet time today, and hopefully I can build up my quiet time routine. Yayy i love this song, very, inspirational.

the last post.

2010-11-21T02:45:00.005+08:00

This is probably one of the few times I post without a photo. It's 2.50am and I can't sleep and I'm tired of clicking the 'Like' button on facebook. Honestly, I don't know why I'm back here. I was planning to disown this blog heh.

I was just looking through the archives and then I realised, I blogged little this year. I spent more time thinking and thinking about things, jotting them down in my quiet time journal rather than releasing them on this blog. I guess that was my outlet for the entire year.

This year passed extremely fast, yet, I can't remember what happen a few weeks ago. It's indescribable, in a sense. Like how maybe ah omg it's probably 6 weeks till 2011, and yet at the same time, it felt as though it's been months since Os started. THe past four days felt like weeks, I can't imagine the Os just ended on Monday.

Then yet again, many things happened this year. It'll take eons for me to list them down. I look back these four years, cringing at all the stupid things I've done, reproaching myself for all the wrong words I've said, blaming myself for the things that didn't turn out right and I guess all these doesn't really help because what's done is done there's no point wishing things to change. I feel awkward around the people I've hurt, I feel sorry for whatever I've done. But yet again, sorry's not going to change anything. Sigh. I hate thinking about how things could've been. I'm sorry i'm sorry i'm really sorry.

I look back at posts from 09 and 08, some of them just gave me this sense of nostalgia. From blog posts about dance practices, to the rants of my day, to the detailed description of certain events. Maybe a blog wasn't a bad idea after all. So maybe I won't delete this, I'll just keep this as something that will remind me of the past.

And I feel so angry with myself because I've not done quiet time for what, 5 days already. Ah ):

Okay whatever I'm tired but I know that I can't sleep. Gah I can't wait to go overseas so I'll get jetlagged when I return and perhaps this irritating insomnia problem will end.

Heh okay I'm not coming back here ever again. I'll probably eat up what's left in the kitchen to kill time, if I still have insomnia in the next few days. I finished a pound cake today :D All by myself. I love eating ice-cream from the tub. I love eating bimbimbap or however you spell it, you know the korean mixed rice thing? I love eating seaweed. I love eating macaroons. I love eating fries that are soft and saltless. I love eating quarter pounders. I love eating strawberry cheesecake, especially the Sara Lee brand strawberry cheesecake. I can finish that in a day if no one stops me (: Okay I'm feeling hungry now ):

Oh I can't wait to go overseas. I can't wait for my white christmas!
I am going to start doing my quiet time tmr, I need to get back into the routine.

Okay finally I'm feeling a tinge of sleepiness.

Bye blog, forever and ever. <3
I hope I don't come back here.
It's 320 am alr. I've been sleeping at 4 for the past few days wow.
I need more sleep.
I need to sleep more.

my skin hurts.

2010-11-04T16:39:00.003+08:00

I don't know what I'm doing here. My brain's fried. Nothing goes in anymore. I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep. 11 more days. 10 papers down, 4 papers to go.

I need to pass social studies.

only you.

2010-05-22T00:08:00.009+08:00

Your Name, is a strong and mighty tower, a shelter like no other.

I'll turn to You, cause You'll see me through.

jesus you reign above all else;

2010-03-25T19:55:00.004+08:00

You are stronger.

i'llfindanswersthen,eh.

********************************************************************

For I know You'll lead me through,

2010-03-06T00:35:00.004+08:00

When troubles come I trust in You,
For I know You will lead me through
And I know You are faithful till the end

And when the storms are drawing near,
When I’m with you I don’t have to fear
You’re my shepherd on whom I can depend

Through the day,
Through the night,
I know You’re always by my side

Lord You are always here with me
There is no changing God in Thee
You are the same yesterday and today and forevermore

Here on your promises I stand
You hold my future in Your hand
My solid rock Almighty God I worship you

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

carry on,

2010-02-12T16:42:00.007+08:00

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you are stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining.

That's what faith can do.

********************************************************************************

I dread 2ndmarch; I want answers. Why this, why now, why me.

Ten years. Keeping me from the truth, doesn’t that count as lying.
Either way, eventually I would’ve found out.
Why, too ashamed about the condition I have, or what.
Too disgusted, perhaps.

Oh God, please carry me through. I feel lost.

HAPPY FACE HAPPY FACE HAPPY FACE!

hello twenty ten.

2010-01-12T16:42:00.001+08:00

First week of the schooling year, ah it’s more stressful than I thought,
O levels. O levels. O levels.

Every tear I’ve cried, you hold in your hand,
You never left my side, though my heart is torn,
I’ll praise You in this storm

God, please carry me through this year, the O levels and everything that’s in store for this year, it’s all in Your Hands.

Heal me, Lord. I need to get well ):

why couldn't you tell me. why did I have to find it out for myself /:

2009-12-30T21:19:00.005+08:00

Yet again, it’s the end of the year.
Hahaa in 2008, I wanted to like upload a picture from each month but I didn’t have enough pictures.
Well this year, there’s probably more than enough but hahaa not doing it.
Maybe next year?

This year wasn’t an easy one. This year was filled with so much, even up till the last few weeks, it was like a whirlwind. So many things experienced this year that I don’t think I’d ever forget. Well not everything this year was bad. On the brighter side, I’m really thankful for everything and everyone. (: Thank God for pulling me through, giving me the strength to carry on. Providing comfort during those hard times, and giving me guidance.

And there goes, the last post of 2009.
2010, the last year in PL. Wow, time passes so fast.
And O Levels.
Omg dreaddreaddread.

You’re the one that’s in control.

last christmas

2009-12-25T17:13:00.002+08:00

Yesterday's shopping was great. The Christmas Stomp was even better! :D The drums, the singing, everything.

i'm not your punching bag, you know

2009-12-24T00:32:00.003+08:00

I don't know why I'm like this, its like everything's coming at one shot.
Everything I thought I've forgotten: the past and all the hurt that came along, actually wasn't really forgotten. I don't know why I remembered everything today.

God, I need You.

and no, it's not rashes nor mosquito bites. And no, I didn't fall down.
I'd love anyone who would ignore those red scars, seriously.

oh why did it have to be you.

2009-12-22T19:47:00.003+08:00

I could go back, go back to every laugh we shared,
But no, I don’t want to go back anymore.
Sometimes, what one feels inside isn’t the same as the expression shown.

Cupcakes from CrystalJade MyBread or something like that. Changi Airport Terminal 3. I don't know, but whenever I feel sad, I'd go buy cupcakes. After eating it, I'd feel better somehow. I don't know how it works, deception maybe? Hahaha I deceive myself just so I'd feel better.

Unpacking boxes. Shoving childhood keepsakes into the cupboard. Watched finish the Korean drama You’re Beautiful. Watched 27 Dresses. Watched Fame. Transformers Camp (: watched transformers. 17 again.

Fainting spells. The thing that made me leave camp halfway ): well I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but it’s wasting money to see the doctor just to tell him, “I can’t stand up for too long or I’d faint.” Yep now it’s better than on Saturday, just that ewww it came back today. The feeling’s horrible, like you can’t see anything though your eyes are open. And all you see are dark moving spots. And then you’d become weak after. And if you’re unlucky like me, you’d become jelly and land on the floor.

Okay that sounds so cartoonish.

Anyway I’m looking forward to the Christmas Stomp heeeeeeee.

Okayifeelhorribleiamgoingtocallsomeone. Orifnoticecreamisanothergoodoption. Otherthanthefatteningpart.

almost believing this was not pretend.

2009-12-08T18:40:00.002+08:00

Awww this song's so niceee

it's home sweet home tmr.

four months, just passed so fast. Too fast.

you are stronger.

2009-12-03T18:56:00.003+08:00

Ah maybe december’s also just gonna fly past. Less than three weeks. ):

Ah I'll just pray and have faith. That’s all I can do now, no?

Cause You are stronger.

never knowing, what could've been

2009-11-30T23:12:00.003+08:00

It has been raining a lot for the past few weeks.
And I liked walking in the rain,
Getting soaked,
And then taking a hot shower upon reaching home.
It's refreshing, I would say.

Ah I don’t know what to say, heeee. Hmmm updates of this week:
I need to stop stuffing myself with junk. Oh yes, coffee included. But I'll be unsuccessful. Pretty lighted up street decorations on Orchard Road. Maze-like bottom level of terminal 2; I got lost on Sunday.
Ah and now I hope that Melodi can find the thumbdrives, if not we'll have to redo our editing, I guess.
Okay I don’t feel like posting anymore, I wonder why I signed into blogger in the first place.

I don’t miss you, I just miss who you used to be.
That’s all, so stop it.

cold as you,

2009-11-16T21:27:00.004+08:00

My vision is turning blurry, well no surprise, after staring at the computer since the afternoon. But heh, the SMPF report is almost done. Hopefully it’s approved.

Fever hasn’t gone away. Ah maybe that’s the result of surviving on less than 3 hours of sleep per day, for the entire week. Saturday was the primary school prefects camp, followed by church chalet immediately after.

I’m tired ttm, after all those late nights working on Microsoft Excel to generate graphs, typing out derivations over and again, and working on the algorithms/theorems.

Okay I’m going to sleep,
I feel horrible: throat and nose feels so blocked up, and the feverish feel isn’t going awayyyyyyyyyyyy ):

OH I WANT TAYLOR SWIFT'S PLATINUM EDITION OF FEARLESS FOR CHRISTMAS!

2009-11-11T22:42:00.002+08:00

Ack, feeling so stressed now. I know I shouldn't be blogging, but ah, as a form of relaxation I guess. Just came home, and so many things cropped up for SMPF, but heh, we're just going to do what's needed and just leave the rest to God (: The feeling of juggling so many things is horrible, in fact, tiring. Ah, but what to dooo.

Heh, I'm gonna start typing our formulae and tidying up the SMPF report. It's gonna be a long night....

Go Bunny and Hammy ♥♥♥

bright, happy sunflowerzxz!

2009-11-09T22:21:00.002+08:00

Yes my sunflower’s back (:
Happy sunflowerrrrrrrrrrrr.
I couldn’t take a new photo of it, cause I probably threw it away during the move. It’s maybe in some garbage dump! Heehaw,

Four more days of SMPF,
around 9 hours of dance for the rest of the week,
And yadadada etc.

A solution for SMPF will come soon, I’m sure it will (:

Isaiah 40:31 “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not be weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

it's time to move on.

2009-11-08T22:13:00.000+08:00

Question answered, doubt cleared, dilemma solved.
Sermon title: Moving into your destiny. Move on. Forget what is behind. There’s a time for the consequence, there’s also an end for that consequence.
ThankYouGod.

Hebrews 11:40
God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.

familiar strangers

2009-11-07T21:48:00.004+08:00

It's sad when people you know
become people you knew.
When you can walk
right past someone like they were
never a big part of your life.
How you used to be able to talk for hours.
And how now, you can barely even look at them.

quotes, quotes and quotes.

steps of faith.

2009-11-01T22:10:00.002+08:00

(click to read article)

This article thingo was from Our Daily Life, this pamphlet-y thing I found. Read the article, it's meaningful, just like today's sermon.

Heh I'm gonna continue with Physics graphs ):

what hurts the most.

2009-10-28T21:05:00.005+08:00

I don’t see why you had to yell at me, and revert back to that same unreasonable and biased mode.
You used to make everything better, but now’s the opposite.
Well ten years ago, I didn't accept it. But this year, I managed to face the reality of it all.
As of now, why can't you accept it. It does not even affect you, neither does it cause pain to you.
Why do you blame me for inflicting this upon myself.
I mean, who knew about immunity when they were six?

Maybe intensive lessons don’t seem that bad afterall.

I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.
If I couldn’t do it back then, what makes you think that now, everything would be different. I did try making things better. But circumstances have changed, and you’ve changed too.

letting go, holding on; which one.

2009-10-25T19:50:00.006+08:00

******************************************************************************

fifteen years, three days.

2009-10-21T21:46:00.004+08:00

Fifteen, fifteen.
Hah, I don’t feel much of a change after I blew out those candles. I guess it won’t be any different? Maybe next year’s going to be tougher, and more exhausting. Birthday wish: hah to stop getting injured. That's one of the many wishes eh. The weekend was great, so was Monday. And perhaps today too.

Went to catch the sneak preview of My Sister’s Keeper on Saturday together with Meng and Jo :D Okay maybe there was something wrong with the floors of Plaza Sing, cause me and Jo kept tripping over wires and blah. And I slipped on the escalator. Embarrassing, and my poor toe bled ): and I had this bruise on my arm ):
Heh then we went on to Bugis, ack, it was really noisy/crowded. But heh we had quite an amount of fun at Macs :D

Sunday was church followed by cell, and cycling at east coasttt :D It was really fun, with all the screaming and overtaking. We cycled on tandem bikes, haha and never before had I cycled so much, so great a distance.

Monday, ah the day I turn fifteen. Nothing much, just lazed around the house. Piggish.
Oh had this trust fund discussion with Weiqin, hahahaaaaa.

We went to Marina Barrage today :D It’s a really big space, and I like the rooftop best?

Oh okay, thank you to everyone who’ve wished me happy birthday on facebook/msn/via sms. And haha thank you to those who’ve given me pretty gifts too <3>

Okay and Theng Hiang’s turning fifteen in two hours timeee. Haha blessed birthday ♥

Hee, I think this is one of the few times I’d write about daily happenings?

You got all you wanted of me, haven't you?

Your method: use and discard.

faith.

2009-10-12T21:50:00.002+08:00

It’s all Yours, the results and everything.
Rain down on me, cause here in Your presence I am free;

daybreak.

2009-10-07T23:43:00.001+08:00

heh.

2009-10-05T18:31:00.003+08:00

Thank You God for pulling me throughhhh.
Now it’s two days to get well.
Hah.

2009-08-28T22:10:00.004+08:00

Maybe it’s an apology too late,
Maybe you don't remember anymore,
But the guilt washes over me each and every time.

I guess I never knew how to explain things so that you’d understand, maybe to you it’ll be all but just an excuse. Maybe you’ll laugh at the insanity of it all, the insanity of me. Even if I explained now, would you believe. No, you wouldn't.

I’m sorry, really.
For being a waste of your time.
A mistake on my part.
My fault.
Blame me. Hate me.

Maybe it’s all you want to hear, maybe you don't bother anymore.

You carried me;

2009-08-17T20:47:00.005+08:00

Thank You for pulling me through.
Empowering me during those tough times, giving me strength no matter how weak I was. Thank You for everything, cause I wouldn’t have done it without You.

Yep I’m better now, especially since the common tests are over.
One load off my shoulders,

But then again, there's the eoys ):

Looking back, everything seems like history; Every week was indescribable. Relapses, falling ill, getting stressed up over that. I don't know, maybe it was just a tough period of time. Soon enough, everything will just fall back into place (hopefully). Like puzzle pieces. It's not over, yet.

small italics.

2009-07-26T21:45:00.005+08:00

Nowadays, I feel like I’ve been running on empty, Being sick all the time, being worn down by tests and assignments, and others. I'm left with little energy, and ah I just feel so tired.

Show me the way, cause I can't do it anymore.
I also don't know why I'm feeling so stressed,
when I don't have any reason to be.
Everything seems so weird,
and I get scared of everything,
including myself.

Let's pray that this move will be alright,
Everything's in a mess, the past resurfaces.

I can't stand it anymore,
I feel like I'm caught in the middle.
ah.

edits and re-edits.

2009-07-09T21:32:00.008+08:00

I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired.

There, hmm and I don't feel like blogging anymore, for the time being. I'll probably go on hiatus, till after the common tests? I won't even sign in, hmmm. And if I feel like blogging, or rather, if I remember my blog existed, I'll come back and publish a post.

And then maybe my during my computer usage I'll go onto facebook. and play mind-relaxing games.

Till then (September),
I AM OFFICIALLY GOING ON HIATUS TILL _______ (I DON'T KNOW WHEN EXACTLY)

I'll cut blogger out of my life, for the time being (:

lotsalove, cause maybe I won't be back!

EDIT: maybe all I just need is a big thump on my forehead, so I can wake up from idk.

RE-EDIT: the shelves are cleared, wardrobes are empty. My stuffed toys, went plummeting down the rubbish chute. Those memories that I wanted to keep, but didn't dare to be reminded of, also went along with the plushies. My dad helped me to, or else they'd never be out of my room. Byebye: woofy which I hugged to sleep from nursery till p2? wangwang the duck that reminds me of wangwang the biscuit? byebyebye see you again not.

it's funny, isn't it. We're barely into half the term, and we're looking forward to december already. I can't wait to grow taller (: I can't wait to go out (: Oh I want a tube/bottle of sunblock for my birthday! SPF 50 or SPF 70 if possible :D

P.S I keep away from blogging by writing down my blog posts using paper and pen instead.

2009-07-03T23:53:00.002+08:00

Ah, a string of five days passed.
It's tiring, it's exhausting, it's stressful.
There's chemistry and physics quizzes next week, and also loads of homework to do over the weekend.

I can't stand it, I'm too tired.
But well, who isn't.

I need wake-up pills.
If there's even such a thing.

God, I need You.

dreaddreaddread.

2009-06-28T01:03:00.001+08:00

okay I dread monday, I dread school.
I don't want to go to school.
Cause it's gonna be yet another rollercoaster ride.
maybe worst.
Eek.

2009-06-26T00:40:00.002+08:00

My eyes hurt. I'm tired. Okay I'm left with chem, book review and ss. And physics blog.
I want to sleep.
Oh I need to stop drinking coffee/coke/tea or anything to do with caffeine.
It's wearing me down instead.

Maybe that's why I can't sleep.

burrowed starfishes;

2009-06-25T01:36:00.003+08:00

okay, it's nearly 2 in the morning.
My brain's gonna explode, cause I just finished the smpf report, and I finished the math statistical poster before that. I've been doing math, practically the entire day.
Math holiday homework, math poster, math smpf.

But whatever, I'm happy, at least the three math projects seem to be ready for submission tomorrow. Or rather, later today.

Ah byebyeeee.

Unknown.

2009-06-24T01:57:00.005+08:00

Eww, I don't know why I'm feeling this way, so sad/angry/grumpy/whiny/moody/(I don't know what else, insert it here)

):<

never forget,

2009-06-21T22:34:00.005+08:00

Heart to heart talks, morning walks.
Whatever the outcome is, change is inevitable.
Maybe it was the last time, things could stay the way it was.

I just want to runaway, literally. Maybe it’d feel like being at the gym, setting a constant speed on the treadmill, blasting music into your ears. Trying to keep in sync with the moving track, cause once you miss a step, you’d trip. And fall.

And at the end of sixty minutes, you hit the stop button, and pant heavily. But yet, for a moment, you’d feel like all the problems are gone.

I really don’t want to go back to school, don’t want to face everything that lies ahead. But on the other hand, I really want to see Meng and Jo cause it’s been long since I last saw them. Ahhahha especially meng, who’s back today :D

thirty-two pills

2009-06-18T19:09:00.001+08:00

over the span of four days,
I swallowed a total of thirty two pills.
and my rashes are gone (:

eek i've not completed my holiday homework, how.

Ugly red splotches

2009-06-15T22:50:00.004+08:00

Hmmm, let me just say, I'm frustrated. Extremely. Cause, just when my holidays are starting properly, I'm down with sickening rashes. It's so disturbing, cause if swallowing 6 pills a day isn't bad enough, I still have to wait for thirty minutes for the medicine to take effect. And the medicine causes drowsiness, so I'm filled with more lethargy ):<

And, I lost my geography file before I can submit it 0:
This is what happens when you've to submit every file before the term ends, you'll lose everything. Okay maybe that applies only to me. Ah okay I need to turn my room upsidedown now.

Pffffffffffffft.
I feel feverish /:

PicturePerfect (:

2009-06-13T14:01:00.006+08:00

I guess the Pulau Semakau trip was, greattt. I mean, when would you ever bother to wake up at five in the morning, just to watch the sky brighten up as the sun rises? The scenery was really good, as shown above in that picture. It's really pretty, as we walked towards the hut; each time we turned back, the sky would be in different shades of pink, orange, purple and blue. The marine animals and plants were pretty too, like the scallops, hairy crabs and even the sea hibiscus. Hmm, the awe that marine life, starfishes, corals and much more enchant you with.

Okay I guess nowadays I’m really addicted to listening to Taylor Swift’s songs. I keep listening to them for hours. Go listen to these few songs, they’re really nice (:
The Way I Loved You: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9S1-7jDOg4k&feature=related
Change: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfcRIUu7AHk&feature=channel
Beautiful Eyes: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKgUxcQnL4I
I’d Lie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r76-p-kdLnk

Backtrack to two weeks ago, hahhaa Melodi and I took many many photos in the maclab. We took hundred plus photos I think, and she uploaded it all on facebook, but I’m too lazy to upload the hundreds here, so some of the screen shots are below (:

Hmmmm, I think I’m going on hiatus (again), because I need to stop using the computer so much, and get down to doing my homework. It’s two weeks into the holidays and I’ve only done a little English homework. I doubt I can finish all my homework by the time school starts.

Melodi ♥Camp CONNECT! Bihui ♥
Pulau Semakau Trip! ♥

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Woah, tell me why;

2009-06-11T19:56:00.002+08:00

I took a chance, I took a shot,
And you might think I'm bulletproof but I'm not.
You took a swing, I took it hard
And down here from the ground, I see who you are

I'm sick and tired of your attitude
I'm feeling like I don't know you
You tell me that you love me then you cut me down
And I need you like a heartbeat
But you know you got a mean streak
Makes me run for cover when you're around
And here's to you and your temper
Yes, I remember what you said last night
And I know that you see what you're doing to me
Tell me, why?

Well, I get so confused and frustrated
Forget what I'm trying to say,
Why do you have to make me feel small,
So you can feel whole inside?
Why do you have to put down my dreams,
So you're the only thing on my mind?

I take a step back, let you go
I told you I'm not bulletproof,
Now you know.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOxidzqhUwA

There was camp 'connect' yesterday, and it was rather fun (: Okay then we ate macs AGAIN, for dinner, and I rushed home to pack for today's field trip. I had little sleep, because I managed to sleep at 11plus, and had to wake up at 3.30 am, and yep, I couldn't wake up k. Okay, the excursion, was fun overall, just that I didn't really like the part where we were stranded at the southern tip of the island, said to be the 'most southern part of Singapore waters that the public can step on'. The intertidal walk was really interesting and enriching, we saw many different species and omg I love the sea stars/ starfish. They're so cute when they move along the sand, they sort of glide along the sand, or maybe move one of their five 'hands'! Hahhaaa and we saw a pair of starfish mating.

Actually, Pulau Semakau doesn't stink like what I'd expected. The bus went through this building whereby boats carrying the incinerated rubbish would pass through the building as well. Okay so after we reached school, Theng Hiang and I went to kovan to dabao lunch home.

I went to my grandma's house to play with my little cousins. Whoa, to think of it, they aren't little anymore heh. They run too fast, and obviously when they wanted to play catching, I don't think it was very fun for them. I had wanted to take a nap, but in the end, ended up playing with them. Hahhaaaa so that's how my day went by.

Tomorrow's my first ever free day whereby I don't have to roll off bed just to get to school, since the school holiday STARTED. But I don't really feel that excited for it, I'll most probably just wake up at noon (:

P.s. I'll upload the pictures from the past few days in the next few posts, I'm too tired to do it today. Eh, I just realised this is one of the very few posts that do not have pictures in it.

Cause, you said you'd be there always, didn't you?

2009-06-07T22:33:00.008+08:00

Branching out, grasping for whatever's there; so helpless, so clueless.
And then sometime later you realised whatever you caught hold of wasn't what it seemed.
Empty promises, false hopes, endless lies.

One week's gonna be over in just mere hours, and soon re-start the whole cycle, yet again. I think nowadays I'm binge-eating, I stuff myself with a lot of food, junk food especially, till I feel so nauseous and all. Eek, kinda gross right.

I've been out practically the entire weekend, went to Sentosa last night for dinner, and the entire day today was spent either at church or shopping. I guess I'm relaxing/slacking too much eh.

Well, that's why.

Maybe it's too late now, I can't make you to be the same, I can't ask you to not hate me.
I didn't apoplogise, though I started this big mess. Well, I'm sorry, really. Though, nothing I say will make things to how they used to be.
But, I just realised how much I miss you, how much I missed those times when we'd chat.

It's too late for me to say these things only now, huh?

and probably, by the time you see this, it'll be year-end, when everything won't make any sense anymore.

the truth hurts, lies worse

2009-06-06T13:24:00.004+08:00

It’s the holidays, but it doesn’t seem like it.
I want to just jump and scream insanely, forget everything that’s dampening my mood, and just have fun. Ah, Meng’s leaving soon, so means we can’t go outttt ):

See, I want to have fun like thattt (:

Really, what matters the most. Is it academics, positions, or calibre? Or maybe, God? So many times, when material wants and other areas of life just take over and trump over everything else that was just as important. Destroying, ruining everything in it’s path. Letting insecurity, self-consciousness overwhelm our whole being, and then realising, why are things going so out-of-hand? How I've not set my priorities right, and then get so easily torn down by nitty gritty things that happen. I’ve been listening to Healer by Planetshakers lately, God is actually more than enough for each one of us eh.

Nothing’s impossible for you, cause you hold my world in your hands;

And for once, i'll not type a string of words in small-fonts (:

Dependent, or independent?

2009-05-28T20:43:00.006+08:00

Pretty, eh? Recently, I started spending my time editing photos, so I've decided to upload them one by one (: And hmmm, its watermarked too!

Today was long, and mentally draining.
There’s so much work that’s given to do, not to mention the two weeks that we’ve been called back for. I've been eating a lot of junk nowadays, like Haagen Dazs Summer Berries And Cream, Kinder Bueno, M&Ms. But oh well, they make me happy (: Especially the ice cream!

Oh, it's Meet-the-Parents session tomorrowwwwww /:

(I know its rather random, but it's hard to think of what to write here)

You and your unfathomable metamorphosis,
I should’ve stopped ~~clinging~~ hanging on, if I knew it’ll all result to this.

bright red poppies,

2009-05-22T22:01:00.002+08:00

I’ve been trying to keep up with the happy mood, hahhaa. Qiyu and I went for St. Anthony Canossa School’s investiture today. The leaders there were nice and friendly and all and we took a pretty long time coming back to school. By the time we reached back, it was physics and then after physics and lunch we had chemistry spa on titration.

Okay I’d always thought parkway parade was a dead and boring place with not nice shops, don’t ask me why. Alright so went out with my mum to hunt for some kitchen stuff to prepare for the renovation, got back a new hairband (mine broke on the way back from invest), ate A LOT at pasta mania, okay and I want THE BODY SHOP’S PASSIONFRUIT BODY BUTTER. It smells really nice and sweet and fruity.

I don’t know why I’m talking like that, again.

Yes, you’re very busy with this and all, but we had never expected you to leave us hanging, just like that.

yep maybe it's my fault, I stupidly expected things to remain the way they are.

yes, a happy sunflower!

2009-05-19T21:27:00.006+08:00

I’m really high and excited these few days, okay ever since the week started :D hmm good isn’t it? Okay enough of that crap, results are coming back one by one. Some were quite bad, like for example dropping by three grades for a science, but some were pretty surprising too, like my Chinese.

Ohohoh, I got addicted to Boys Over Flowers (Korean version). Omg, its super nice alright! Cause Bihui kept talking about it, and so I’ve been watching it every night since the weekends. I’ve watched till episode 8, and then I skipped to episode 12, which was rather touching, cause the guy gave the girl this necklace with the crescent moon in the star!

The first week of the june holidays will be jam-packed, with the maths and science fantasia, performance on third june, megacamp (if it’s still on), modular training workshop, and most importantly, MATH ESSAY AND SMPF!

Okay facebook’s restaurant city is rather fun heh, if only I started playing before. And omg yay we’re going to the zoo on Monday! Yay i hope we can visit the ducks, if there is any :D

oh and sorry trisha and min, i finally rmbed/had time to relink you

Okay back to facebook and restaurant city,

byebyebyebye!

imperfections, inferiority, inadequacy.

2009-05-17T21:57:00.005+08:00

Just because of a disorder/illness/disease/deformity, she morphs into a pessimist, an image-conscious person. She's so stupid, so unwise, so imperfect.

She’s foolish, isn’t she?

I don’t know her anymore, I want her gone.

2009-05-12T19:19:00.001+08:00

I don't like looking back at history,
I dislike looking back on my past blog posts,
I dislike re-reading phone messages that were delivered eons ago,
I dislike going through my email inbox with emails that meant something,
I dislike opening the box to see letters of all sorts sitting there.

I find it disturbing, whatever's happened has already happened.
Why brood over it, why bother remembering it.
What's meant to be worth reminiscing about, won't it be already lodged in my memory?

GOLD WITH HONOURS!

2009-04-17T23:38:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was a rather mentally tiring day. There was A Math Quiz, SS SEQ make-up test, NAPFA Test and SYF Results. A Math Quiz was alright, so was SS SEQ Quiz. Ah then after math Olympiad, we went for the dreaded NAPFA test.

Ah all my scores were shocking. All my years doing NAPFA, I had to go back for a re-test. But this year, no. I passed. God has really been gracious. It’s like gold, gold and gold! Thank God for the GOLD WITH HONOURS, thank God for helping through my NAPFA test. It’s miraculous, seriously.

Oh btw I’m going on hiatus, till after SOP II or Term 2 Common Tests, or the Sec1 camp (:

Lovelovelove!

off the tracks

2009-04-12T20:59:00.005+08:00

My brain cells are rather fried, maybe after all those medications. Can’t think properly, can’t perform tasks right. Maybe sometimes when there’s too much stress and imperfections in situations, I’m too overwhelmed by it and start being selfish, inconsiderate. Temperament’s gone out of hand, emotions can’t be easily controlled.

Yesterday’s full-dress rehearsal at UCC was fine, but tiring I guess. There’s practices tomorrow and Tuesday, then it’s the actual judging on Wednesday. There’s the YIP implementation, Symphony Of Praise concert, common tests and then Sec 1 camp.

It’s like countdown.

Deteriorate. and Die.

2009-04-10T11:33:00.002+08:00

One week has gone by, its going to be the fourth week of the term soon.
DANCE SYF is next wednesday, some tests next week, NAPFA test next week.

My health’s deteriorating. My gastric pain came back yesterday nearing the end of dance, and it was like omg so pain, it was worse than last Friday. I ate a sandwich for lunch, then rushed up with bihui to do voiceovers only to find out the maclab wasn’t open. It was 3, so went for dance straight. I couldn’t really walk to my mum’s car and yeah, so in the end had to be brought to the doctor yet again. Doctor gave me an injection to get rid of the pain, so I could walk properly. And since it was rather unexpected, I screamed(: He gave me more medicine, like twice the amount he previously gave me.

Now, I can’t go out, I need to rest at home since full dress rehearsal at UCC’s tomorrow. And, my eye’s not so red already(:

eek.

2009-04-03T22:49:00.003+08:00

Today, scared me. Deeply. I guess I’m never really going to forget whatever’s happened today.

Now, my stomach hurts like zomg and I’m scared like, okay now I can’t even think of what to say. Especially after I read this:
You may find blood in your vomit for various reasons, including:
Ingested blood. If you swallow blood — during a nosebleed, for example — subsequent vomiting may include some of this blood.

Prolonged or vigorous vomiting. Vomiting may cause a tear in the small blood vessels of the throat or lower esophagus. This may cause blood to appear in your vomit.

Peptic ulcers. Peptic ulcers are open sores that develop on the lining of the stomach, upper small intestine or esophagus. In addition to feeling a burning pain anywhere from your navel to your breastbone, you may vomit blood that appears either red or dark (like coffee grounds).

Internal inflammation. Inflamed tissue in the esophagus (esophagitis), stomach (gastritis) or upper part of the small intestine may cause blood to appear in your vomit.

Cancer. Various types of cancer may cause you to vomit blood, especially cancers of the stomach and esophagus.

Vomiting red blood indicates that the bleeding began shortly before you vomited. If the blood is black or appears dark brown and has the texture of old coffee grounds, the blood has been in your stomach for a longer time.

Okay now I’m scared like sheeeet):

Try understanding, please?

2009-03-28T18:50:00.005+08:00

Dilemmas, choices, decisions, consequences;

Everything in school’s so downbeat. The maths and sciences draining my energy, teachers wanting us to be slim and stay away from fried food, people whom I once was so close to gossiping about me, not behind my back, but right in front of my face. And the unbelievable part is that, they act so nice when they want a favour, or want something to their whim and fancy.

Thick eye bags and swollen puffy eyes. I’m too tired and don’t have enough rest, but why can others manage and I can’t? March holidays were supposed to be a time of recuperation and preparation for the new term. But it’s already one week since the new term started, so no point ranting about how much time has been wasted.

They say, ‘there’s no more time for you to waste time like this. When are you going to wake up to the situation? Why can’t you be like ___?’ Yeah sometimes I’d wish I was like ___, so it eliminates all my problems. ___ has the intelligence and discipline that I don’t possess. If you two didn’t know, I really want to be like __. I’m trying, can’t you two see?

Oh and facades can’t work when you’re incapable of managing them,
it all results to your vulnerability being revealed.

To think we used to be so close, now everyday once I get into the car, she’d rant about how sulky I am. What does she expect, producing fake smiles needed energy too right. I couldn’t tell my problems anymore, all she’d do is compare. And so we quarelled. There, everyone’s day ruined.

conceal, concealer, concealed.

2009-03-23T21:46:00.002+08:00

Only you, could have such capability,
to expose the flaws of others, yet simultaneously concealing your own.

And in the end, you're just deceiving yourself.

days come and go;

2009-03-21T23:17:00.004+08:00

The march holidays, came as quickly as it went.
Tomorrow's the last day of the week,
the week whereby we were supposed to replenish our energy and 'gear' for the next term,
the week whereby we were supposed to catch up with our studies.
And ended up , spent monday at facilitation, tuesday at dance, wednesday doing chem project, thursday at dance, and friday at mini-syf judging.
On the bright side of things, at least the holidays started out well
Saturday:
SYNAPSE was great :D
Formed new friendships, and the amazing race was fun.
We went around almost the whole Singapore,
going to places like dhoby ghaut, padang, jurong east, outram park and kranji war memorial
and we ran dangerously across roads, though I hate running to the core.
Okay and our group laughed and laughed like crazeeeeeee kay.

hweexian.weiqin.ruby.elizabeth.me
Sunday:

After church, I rushed down to HarbourFront to meet meng and jo. Vivocity is a place where you will end up burning a hole in your wallet. Yesss, so we resorted to buying some Burger King sandwich and eating under the shade. We sat at the area in front of Sentosa, or rather the sea. And of course, we camwhored :D Okay we walked round shops, and then after I bought a THEFACESHOP nail polish, we bought drinks and chips and sat at the water area and started taking more pictures. However it rained. Or maybe it poured. That's the reason why the sky looked so dark and gloomy.

Okay so anyway today I ended up not going for the SMPF finals cause I had some eyelid infection/eye allergy. So there, my blog post for the whole holiday. DONE.

jump, dance, sing, shout.

2009-03-12T22:16:00.003+08:00

Gah, it's the end of Term 1 already. My knee hurts like sheeeeeet, like I can't climb the stairs without my knee guard. Cause if not my knee bone will be darn pain and it feels like it's gonna snap. There are also bruises on my kneeee. But I hate wearing knee guard. Its tight, it makes my leg fats bulge out and its rather itchy): Okay, you know what, I shall just get my mum to write letter so I can skip PE tomorrow.

Oh, and Mrs Lim is no longer going to teach us Geography): She is such a nice and funny teacher lah, especially when she was talking about shit and how it helped the nutrient cycle or something like that.

I'll have to go back to school for almost everyday during the March Holidays. In fact, we've to usher for Sec 4 Meet-the-parents tomorrow, there's SYNAPSE! :D on saturday. Okay then sunday I'll be out, there'll be facilitation skills training on monday, dance on tuesday, dance on thursday, mini-syf on friday, smpf finals on saturday. And then it'll be the end of march holidays.

I'll be so busy):

2009-03-09T19:59:00.003+08:00

I keep telling myself, that I could control things,
But evidently, I can't.
Whatever I dread to happen, happens.
And similarly, whatever I yearn to happen, doesn't happen.

2009-03-08T20:52:00.004+08:00

All the results are out, and most of them are unsatisfactory, with the exception of A. Math and E. Geog. Okay actually the worst was E. Math. The results were indeed unexpected of me. It was very much below my standard for E. Math, like I probably should've scored at least higher than the 20 mark for my common test, but I didn't. My overall mark for E. Math isn't even an A2, or not even much of an A1; which is what I'm supposed to be getting.

However, I guess the other subjects were rather alright. Barely passed my Chemistry and Chinese. Actually, taking three pure sciences isn't really that fun. Okay maybe it's because we've just started learning and trying to adapt, but either way, I find it hard to understand the sciences, especially chemistry and physics. My grades are so much different from those that I had scored in Sec 2. There's no more multiple A1s ):

Anyway, went to the bugis area after church today. My mum and I went to Golden Landmark to get my nude-coloured leotard and foot thongs for dance syf, then we walked around Bugis street for awhile before heading home. And I've morning dance practice tomorrow.

OHOHOH, I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE JOLYN'S MAMA AND PAPA HAMSTER WITH THEIR THREE LITTLE ONES :D

As the thunder rolls,

I barely hear You whisper through the rain, "I'm with you".

2009-03-03T19:00:00.005+08:00

I really don't know what you want me to do,
you claim that I don't study though you saw me studying,
you said my results were poor without even speaking with a tinge of encouragement,
you compare me with * and said that * worked harder,
you said that I am supposed to be stronger so I can accept whatever you tell me,
and not get too affected by it.
you think that I can bear all that has happened like an adult,
but as much as I'm keen to grow up faster,
I'm just a teenager.
I never said I was emotionally stronger, you just assumed.
You never really praised me for anything,
When I just came into the car after a tiring session of dance,
the minute I said my chinese results,
you just started rattling on about how a mere pass isn't that great.
And you said that my chinese was more atrocious than *.

Cause even if I studied till my brain's dead,
You're never gonna admit that I studied.
Whenever I open my mouth to speak, you said I was giving you a headache,
and if I just shut up, you'll say I'm giving you attitude.
So, what do you want me to do.

it's all over, for now.

2009-02-24T20:58:00.004+08:00

Yes, the common tests are over(:

Now there's no need to stay up late to study, or even wake up earlier just to memorise some cation test or some functions of organelles or maybe some crazy physics formula. Whatever's that happened in the past week probably drove me insane.

The test schedule was like this:

Wednesday - Social Studies

Thursday - Elective geography and E Maths

Friday - Chemistry and Physics

Monday - A Maths and Chinese

Tuesday - Biology

Ah needless to say, friday was a killer. Screwed up chem paper, physics too. I was sick with flu too, like ah so irritating, my nose was running like every now and then, and the rubbish bin was probably overpiled with my scrunched up tissues; and swallowing 4 tablets twice a day is a chore.

Haha last thing, meng and jo turned fifteen alreadyy :D Its rather cool that their birthdays are only six days apart, but mine is like eight months away. Oh oh and I decided not to upload installation pictures here, cause its on facebook already.

LOVELOVELOVE <3

and stop trying to tear us apart;

2009-01-30T23:43:00.002+08:00

ah omg, I feel drained.

stayed up last night to study for A Math,

but then didn't study chem,

left the studying for this morning.

there's more tests coming up next week,

plus installation rehearsals.

stressed.

now not only there's eyebags,

I'm starting to have headaches too DDD:

why me,

2009-01-25T23:46:00.003+08:00

one moment in time.

vanish.

2009-01-19T22:00:00.002+08:00

first day of the week, and I already feel tortured.

it's hard trying not to sleep in class,

especially when the weather's so sweltering.

and omg, my eyebags still doesn't want to go away.

tests are coming soon,

and everyday we still have to stay back,

be it for CCA or yip or house meeting or whatever.

and there's three sciences tomorrow,

plus chinese D:

2009-01-14T16:46:00.001+08:00

I really hate eyebags,

Especially those red puffy swollen ones.

everything is not what it seems.

2009-01-12T16:16:00.007+08:00

hectic time since school started.

first, it was orientation and cca fair.

second, getting used to the new subjects.

I can't stand both A and E math, and physics.

yeah, and omg the computer got sent for repair,

meaning all the stuff that was accumulated over the years are gone D:

yeahyeah, today was the release of the 'O' Levels results,

and tomorrow will be a holiday(:

a break from the torture of school eh?

dreaded distance,

2009-01-03T20:02:00.006+08:00

went out with min today <3

*************************
gone are those posts,

so much for trusting you, really.

new year, new resolutions

2008-12-31T12:15:00.001+08:00

took this picture at the corniche, abu dhabi.

I've not updated for like so long,
was in dubai/abu dhabi/arabia from the 20th to 28th,
then I touched down at 1pm on the 28th,
and I went for PB camp at 4pm on the same day.
hahaha, surprisingly no jet lag experienced at camp.
PB camp was fun eh,
got to know more people(:
and I woke up automatically.
I'm sure bihui was surprised cause for the past few camps where we slept beside each other,
I was like the last person in the whole place to wake up.
oh and btw my phone's repaired :D

haha okay, so talk about today.
the main thing was that I went to see my cute baby cousin.
she's so adorable, i just want to pinch her cheeks and hug her.
so couldnt go countdown at church):
ate dinner at aunt's place
okayokay, so tomorrow going for lunch with my mum's side,
then come home and get ready for school.
sheetz i still left ONE chinese compre.
someone let me copy heh :D
and I somewhat don't look forward to school,
AGAIN.

so close, yet still so far.

2008-12-19T11:40:00.002+08:00

empty tracks.
will this year end just like that?
unexpressed feelings,
unsaid words,
unshared thoughts,
lies that were never confessed.
if so, then won't it be a waste of time?

maybe the too long hours on the road has got me doing too much pondering.
haaaaaaaaah.
alright, nowadays i'm using more facebook than friendster.
so yeah, byebye friendster.

hmph, apparently dubai's gonna be 17 degrees.

cold desert, for christmas.

and ho, today i've been like adding photos from japan and watching youtube at the same time.
saw our dance performance at victoria theatre there.
haha, so anw.
MERRY CHRISTMAS :D
and I'll be back on new year's eve.

p.s. i know this is a very random post, but ah, you can just ignore it(:

it's a small world, no?

2008-12-18T19:11:00.009+08:00

apparently i did 'join the happiest cruise
that ever sailed round the world'.

hahaahaha,
yes, i'm back from japan :D
but i'm leaving in like a day.
saturday morning i'm flying off again;
to dubai.
yes, my christmas is going to be spent there.
ah, shall not whine or complain about it.

wellwell, japan.
it was cold, especially in hokkaido.
like what, it was minus eleven degrees?
but skiing was fun yeah(:
after 3 days in those skiing areas,
we went to sapporo.
where buildings could be seen.
yeah, did a bit of shopping there.

the most tiring was taking transport kay.
we didnt rent a car, so had no choice but to take public transport.
on the first day touching down at tokyo narita airport, we took a 2 hour-long bus ride to another airport in tokyo called Haneda Airport. After which we took a domestic flight to sapporo's Chitose Airport, and then took a 3 hour-long bus ride to our ski village hotel, which was so ulu.
and at 4pm, the sky was pitch dark.
the best was when we went to this suburban area of tokyo, then we brought all our huge luggages on the bus, and the bus isnt like those sort of coaches.
it was smaller than an SBS bus.
the people stared at us like we were crazy.

tokyo was the bestest?
cause there were shops, shops and more shops!
bought a hoodie from a premium outlet,
and bought manymany gifts back ((:
oh oh, i forgot to mention that i went to disneyland :D
haha it was so magical,
the parade with all the disney characters appearing,
from winnie the pooh to lilo and stitch to tinkerbell.
then there was this mickey's show,
yeah, sound childish but excluding mickey, the music and dance and others were magnificent (:
it was kind of pathetic that we only sat three rides,
but ah nevermind,
at least i got to sit on one :D
the food there was ex though.
64 bucks for 6 people's food.
and its not meant to be expensive,
it was exactly like mcdonalds.
just that it was called tomorrowland or smth.

and for every other day,
it was mainly carb for the three meals.
okay, some of the hotels provided breakfasts,
but excluding that,
everytime it was either ramen or rice.
or if not i'll skip the meal and buy bread from the convenience store.
so yeah, i probably put on a few kg D:

ah, though this is not the exact detailed description of my trip,
i'm too tired to post anymore.
got to start packing my luggage, again.
when i've just unpacked last night.
and guess what, i'm eating bread for dinner.
AGAIN.
how exciting eh.
byebyebye.

DANCE CONCERT :D

2008-12-05T14:33:00.010+08:00

HELLO :D

okayokay, dance concert was yesterday,

10 am to 10 pm at victoria concert hall.

so yesterday went to whitesands mrt with claire
we took the mrt to eunos to wait for glennis,

then took again mrt down to city hall.

we waited for lyzel, andrea, rene and sha,

walked to esplanade.

there was this series of projections on the wall that made rather freaky noises.

haha then from explanade we walked across the long bridge towards the merlion.

we were taking so many pictures, as though we never been there before.

hahaha, like tourists.

we were still at the merlion area at 9.45.

had to reach victoria concert hall at 9.50.

haha but anw by the time we reached there teachers werent there yet.

yeah so helped rene sew the costume,

then we did our markings on stage.

went to the dressing room,

went to bun hair, put make-up,

mrs wong bought back macs for our lunch,

rehearsed the curtain call thing,

went back to dressing room to wait for full dress rehearsal.

after full dress rehearsal,

slacked at the dressing room till dinner came

took manymany pictures,

had chicken rice for dinner,

touch ups for make up and hair,

then waited for our call to go to backstage.

our performance was the second last,

yeah and thankfully didnt make any mistakes :D

the stage lights were so bright, cant even see anything.

and the foggy thing stinks.

haha and jolyn, i didnt spin off the stage.

hahaha.

after that went with parents to t3 to eat,

then came back home.

and i'm flying off today :D

hopefully i wont freeze up in japan yeah :DDD

PICTURES!!
(more pictures when i come back and get them from rene)
winnie don't emo alr lah :D and i won't be celebrating christmas in singapore):
can't go for the myhope party):
i'm spending christmas in a desert.
how exciting.

haha i'll miss jolyn and menglu):
GIFTS :D

2008-11-28T15:04:00.005+08:00

hello((:

not very long since I updated,

so the whole week's gone already.

MONDAY

I can't remember what I did on monday.

TUESDAY

dancedancedance.

we did the fourthdec dance once,

then barely did the syf one,

then dance ended already.

we went to vivo to celebrate claire's birthday.

but it was a belated celebration lah.

so once we reached vivo,

glennis went off with andrea saying she was gonna buy shorts,

when actually they went to get cake.

then me, rene and claire went to get the movie tickets.

got our lunch from long john silver,

then went to the bigbig open area at the water park to eat.

and sing happy birthday to claire.

after that we started playing in the water.

suddenly this guy came and pour some whitish blue chemical into the water.

hah, went to watch madagascar 2 after that.

after madagascar we walked around,

and we tried out stuff at topshop(:

left vivo at 5 plus.

WEDNESDAY

nothing much, just had yip meeting.

THURSDAY

dance as usual,

after dance went with the dance people to eat at macs,

carrying that bulky box of books and files.

went back to gran's,

brought her to dentist,

then went to see doctor,

by the time i saw the doctor, it was 6.30.

waited for 2 hours lah.

pfft.

sent her home,

ate dinner and shopped at ntuc,

went home.

FRIDAY

dance again,

had full dress rehearsal,

forced to wear that aunty-ish coatie thing.

its super aunty.

then after practicing again and again,

the tailor came to take our measurements,

then dismissed.

that's how my week went by.

there's still dance party tmr.

and i need to buy i think chickenwings.

i feel so tired now,

i want to go zhuang qiang lah :D

hahahaha.

PICTURES :D

winnie's so hilarious,

and claire's smelling andrea's hair?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLAIRE ! :D

star jumps

and i'll post more after the performance or smth.

who said you could be the only one to have moods,

I have mine too.

2008-11-23T20:43:00.003+08:00

cell retreat ended today.
I'm too tired to post much about it,
but it was quite fun :D
a good bonding session with the cell,
catching prawns on friday,
bowling and playing games on saturday,
and service on sunday.
didn't bowl, muscle pain DD:
and dear miriam's leaving for australia next week ):
I should probably start writing in complete and grammatically correct sentences, or else, i'll probably screw up my english next year.

2008-11-16T21:32:00.005+08:00

FRIDAY
dance in the morning,
xu laoshi didnt come, ms wendy came instead.
after dance me, lyzel, andrea, glennis and claire went to eat lunch at HK cafe,
ate cheese baked mushroom rice,
and the french toast was nice :D
we walked around kovan for awhile,
came home then went out to tm for dinner,
fish&co! and haagen dazs.
omg, i'm never eating at haagen dazs,
super ex.

SATURDAY
had tuition in the morning):
then after that watched tv and used computer for like, the entire day :D
but i did do my part for the math project,
so not that bad lah (:
went out for dinner at the airport,
at tongshui cafe.
the french toast is more ex than the one at hkcafe,
but it is smaller ):

SUNDAY
wanted to eat at subway but it was full.
the whole expo was super crowded today lah.
okay so went to the food fair,
hoping to find cheap lunch.
in the end, i got a cheese hotdog, for 1.80 ):
alright, so went to hall9, got a doughnut.
after service was debrief and we also celebrated joanne's birthday.
then we went to food fair again to buy milo for this week's cell retreat.
went to east point to buy thermal and whatever,
eat dinner, shop.
and now i'm at home.
just completed merging the different parts of math report.
oh, GET WELL MIN-EN :D

you've changed,
now you don't ever mean the words you say,
or sometimes you say things just to make it sound perfect and literally flowing.
it was my mistake to have become so dependent on you,
and now it's time to just let it go.
i dont need to be your spare tyre, go find someone else yeah.
just call me your imperfect friend.

2008-11-13T20:59:00.007+08:00

I can't wait to get out of here.
three more weeks.
twenty two more days.
and whee.
sand and snow :D

WHOOHOO.
I can sms and call and whatever again :D
hahaha, new month started today,
i'm ecstatic.

okay back to point : dance todayy.
my leotard seems to be getting smaller, which means tighter D:
i'm putting on weight eh?
and i wore it till I reached home,
which was at night ):
yeah, so xulaoshi choreographed finish the dance today.
then after dance, we went to hougang to eat pepper lunch :D
omg, i didn't eat pepper lunch since like, national day last year?
haha, then the hamburger steak thingo had some special offer,
so it was cheaper, 9.90.
yeah then went to the rooftop to dance, yes.
we walked around looking for the tie-on-half-cardigan thing.
then went to macs to eat.
we went to find shops that sold racer-back tank tops after that,
then mrt-ed and bus-ed back :D
and there's dance again tomorrow.

nowadays i've been having some weird sleeping problem,
I can't sleep. even if i sleep early at 11, or late at 1, i still cant sleep.
I can't even sleep though i'm tired.
what is this.
just tosses and turns,
then suddenly see sunlight coming through the gaps of the curtains,
I groan and get out of bed,
end up not sleeping at all, or only a short while.
:/

2008-11-09T18:56:00.007+08:00

now's the time for reflections, no?
its coming to the end of 2008.

went to church today,
had subway for lunch,
we then went to the pets show thing,
omg the dogs so cute!
yeah, then nick vujicic came to preach at church.
after service was debrief,
then dinner-ed,
now at home.
yeah.
so.....
I guess no mood for blogging today lah,
or maybe just stop blogging for awhile or something.
I know my posts are getting more boring as the days pass.

mixed feelings,
so many things going on,
a jumble of feelings.
I don't really know what to feel, how I should feel
I probably could never accept what you said,
but was it true?
I'll probably never admit it huh.

I realised,
how it was so worthless,
I was so stupid, to just judge face value, the exterior
it was maybe just a fairytale daydream that would never come to life.
what was I thinking.

throw it away, forget yesterday,
and we'll make the great escape.

2008-11-07T23:28:00.003+08:00

heyho :D
today was math presentation day, and I spent some time photoshopping in the morning too :D
HURH.
good news: dont have to go back to school from 8am to 6pm anymore.
bad news: must go back once a week for mathy math.
plus the three-times-a-week cca.
and probably also the yip thing.
and I still need to finish my chinese and english homework.

I'm blogging now cause I cant sms D: ,
I cannot afford to have an exploded phone bill,
cause my mum wont give me a new phone,
and my current one drops and splits apart everyday.
it'll probably konk off soon,
considering the fact that its already four-years old.
bleagh, so anyway,

I've left with 5 smses till the 12 of this month.
which is like one sms per day.
pathetic eh.
so jolyn, sorry that I couldn't reply your sms ):
haha, enjoyed sing to the dawn?
:D

hahah, back to topic,
I'm still quite excited about not having to go back to school EVERYDAY for math.
for the past 2 weeks, since the official start of holiday,
we've spent 10 hours each day in the freezing maclab,
trying to find solutions for our math projects,
or doing never-ending calculations,
or staring at a pdf file thats full of words,
but trying to find math out of it.
its like 70 hours spent on math.
can probably make someone go bonkers.
there's not much of a holiday since holiday started.
haha, holidays start when i get to leave singapore :D
whoohoo.
hah, off to the tv.

the fear of stress overwhelmed me,
till it made me on the verge of quitting everything in that path.

2008-11-06T20:33:00.003+08:00

HEYHO ;D
photoshop! haha, maclabs arent that boring!
MEEBO too. but it's too sloww.
felt quite sick or rather, faint during dance today.
screwed up like everything.
blurred vision on and off throughout the day.
then still had to go back for math right,
but not much done lah :D
ended up reading or CAMWHORING :D and doing a bit of work.
haha, slacker.
lunch was at twelve,
the usual fried stuff.
haha, now while waiting for the rest to come online,
decided to multitask :D
talking online, facebook, downloading pictures, downloading music.
and D: - the hsm3 soundtracks cant be loaded onto any of the music players.
arghh.
hahaha, i'm like blogging when my mum specifically said, "Make sure I don't see you blogging."

okay, last point, MIN-EN RECEIVED THE LETTER :D
whoohoo.

2008-11-05T22:27:00.002+08:00

omg, PETS SOCIETY :DD
my pet's name is called fluffle.
its like a bunny?
I keep playing this at night to kill time and relax after 10 hours of math.
I wished tomorrow there wasn't math,
so can go home straight after cca.
but hah, FAT HOPE.
okay, my pet's sleeping now
and downloading song attachments from hotmail is so slow.

left lit review for math tomorrow.
whoohoo.

2008-11-04T15:23:00.004+08:00

haha hello(:
i'm now at dubai, waiting at for it to be 9pm (dubai time).
the next few days i'm like gonna be so busy,
once i touch down, 3 hours later i'm off to pb camp.
i'm only left with the one afternoon to complete all my homework D:
ah sheeeetz.
diediedie lah):

2008-11-02T20:19:00.004+08:00

heh.
didn't go to church today.

went to visit my gm instead,
it was a long time since I've seen her,
and that was in feburary.
it hurts me to see her going through all this,
and yet she's still appearing strong.
seeing her again gave me many mixed feelings,
on how I've not been visiting her frequently,
till she couldn't even recognise me.
still, she just clutched on tightly to my hand and smiled,
making me feel all guilty inside.

2008-11-02T20:08:00.002+08:00

heh.
didn't go church today,

went to visit _______________
it's been like real long since I've seen her,
like the last time I saw her was in feburary?
yeah, it hurts me to see her like this.
it gave me many mixed feelings too,
like how I've not been visiting her often,
till she couldn't even recognise me.

the way she held my hand and started smiling,

made me feel all guilty inside.

2008-10-31T22:45:00.003+08:00

today's math was alright.
just that the maclab was freaking cold.
jolyn WEN isn't online now.
and neither is my msn functioning properly.
and sheeeeet,
still haven't got my one dollar plus stamp,
how to post letter.
the letter's like long overdued.
RAR.

I sometimes wonder why I post,

when there's nothing worth posting about /:

all I have in this blog is nothing but a BORE.

2008-10-30T21:16:00.003+08:00

there seems to be nothing significant going on these few days,
only math, math and more math.
I feel drained, cause there was like dance plus math research thing today.
and all those crunches could've killed me.
Good thing the math project seems rather alright,
after settling all the measurements and calculations.
gah, I'll go watch tv.
I need a one dollar postage stamp.

what has become of things nowadays.
everything doesn't seem to go right.
unlike what I'd thought last week

2008-10-24T20:27:00.007+08:00

I WATCHED HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 TODAY :D

yes, today I went out with menglu and jolyn <33

we were supposed to meet at maplewood park,

but i was late, so we met at kovan instead.

then we mrted to dhoby gaut,

and we chionged to buy movie tickets and POPCRON :D

surprisingly got into the cinema hall on time,

but anyway, the show started only at twelve.

yeah, the hsm3 soundtracks seem to be nicer than hsm, and hsm2.

soundtracks like 'can I have this dance', 'right here, right now' and 'we're all in this together remix' are quite nice ((:

so after watching the movie,

we walked around ps,

and we ate fries and drank coke.

after that we started to play with the wasabi powder, chilli and ketchup :D
then we walked and walked,

went to mini bits to buy white hairband,

went to daiso, SPOTLIGHT, carrefour, giordano, some other shops.

plaza singapura is big but quite boring,

and we CAMWHORED.

then, jo and I bought the ice cream from the hokkaido ice cream shop.

she got chocolate mint, while I got dark chocolate.

went to carrefour to look at I don't know what,

then it was 4 alr so had to leave,

cause I took longer to go home.
we went opposite directions ):

haha, I LOVED THE TIME WE SPENT TODAY :D

LET'S GO OUT SOME OTHER TIME KAY!

and hopefully the pictures can turn out clearer (:

2008-10-23T21:48:00.006+08:00

the day full of whirlwinds.

there were sad things that happened today,
and happy ones too.
firstly, my buddy didn't get in ):
secondly, it was recess, something to be happy about? nah, I stupidly drank nescafe, which meant worser stomach cramp.
thirdly, was results time D:
everyone was crying and worrying,
my result was unexpected,
but at least I got into same class as meng, jo and sy (:
oh, xinyu and bihui too! :D
omg, now xinyu and bihui will be same class as me for 5 years
YAYYAYYAY.
I'll miss 2-1,
I'll miss trisha! D:
so after collecting results,
we had this end of term talk,
then we sand the theme song,
haha, and our classmates sang really loud :D
after lunch did a bit on the analysis of the fire escape routes.
and I have to say, they are inacurrate.
then had dance practice.
OMG. 70 SIT-UPS.
tomorrow confirm muscle pain.
and seemed like never stretch for a long time,
so stiff.
then learnt new steps.
and ordered concert tickets :D

anyway, jo brought her cam today.
so we camwhored.

2-1 noticeboard!

failed jump shot.

okay, I failed.

all jump at different timing.

my two CUTE friends :D

XINYU!

hahaha menglu, you must help me with chinese next year :D

PLEASE?

2008-10-22T20:22:00.001+08:00

gone with the wind.

2008-10-21T22:10:00.003+08:00

and we could runaway

today we learnt table etiquette and social graces.
we learnt how to de-shell a prawn.
we learnt how to eat spaghetti the right way.
we learnt how to sit properly.
we learnt which cutlery to use.

after school went with claire to kovan to buy presents,
then bought lunch back.
eeh.
so bored.
haha omg, watch this.
its HILARIOUS.
this woman trying to sing 'Without You' by mariah carey.

2008-10-20T20:35:00.006+08:00

school was alright today,
it rained when the softball interclass was going to end,
and I bus-ed back to my grandmother's.

two freaking ulcers are killing me,
ah, don't want to blog muchhh,
the birthday excitement's dying down.
anyway, PICTURES! (gifts received today)

chocolates from trisha :D
book from my mummmm(:

thanks menglu :D
seashells from ECP :D
haha, KUMA-KUMA from menglu
soft toy from jolyn :D
the card is soo pretty kay.

haha, thanks min-en ((:

I don't know if I should quit.

2008-10-19T19:32:00.006+08:00

and I'm fourteeeeeeeeeen.

today was EXCITING :D
went to church,
and after church service,
we celebrated with brenda's baked chocolate cake :D
omgomg, the cake was so delicious,
it was totally chocolatey,
and the exterior of the cake was crusty,
while the interior was nice and moist (:
the cake is THAT GOOD :D
I'll post the picture here if I can get it,
i'll blog about my birthday some other time
but today,
DEDICATIONS :D

JOLYN:
there's a lot to say to you :D,
but most of all, THANKS FOR BEING A GREAT FRIEND ((:
thanks for being there to cheer me up,
thanks for listening to me whineee,
thanks for encouraging me whenever I felt like dyinggg :D
thanks for your endless 'JIAYOUs'and'PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT'encouragements
despite only getting to know you better this year,
you're one of the people I'll never forget in my secondary school life!
you made my sec2 year memorable and enjoyable :D
especially during crapping and camwhoring time!
the results of our classes will be released to us this thursday,
but no matter what,
FRIENDS FOREVER yes!
ILY LOADSSSSSS <333!

MENGLU:
thanks for being a GREAT friend :D
thanks for being someone whom I can tell secrets,
thanks for being my like, walk-walk partner?
i would never forget the times we 'played in the toilet',
you and the toilet tissue hurh.
thanks for making me laugh non stop,
till my stomach hurts.
haha, and our daily or even hourly crapping time :D
I'll never forget you and your humour,
and the camwhoring time when we would make hilarious faces(:
likewise, YOU ALWAYS MADE MY DAY :D
hope we get into the same class nexxt year!
ILY <333

BIHUI:
thanks for being my friend,
thanks for advicing me what to do,
thanks for taking 'morning walks' around the school with me,
thanks for accompanying me when my mum was late,
thanks for keeping my secrets,
thanks for being there for me :D
its the third year since I first knew you,
haha, and thanks for being like me prefect friend.
you always cheered me up when I was down/moody,
ILY!
and no matter what class we go next year,
we'll still be close friends yes?
:D

TRISHA:
you're like such a sweet and nice friend (:
my very patient chinese partner,
thanks for being patient in explaining like practically every word that I don;t understand,
thanks for cheering me up when I was down,
thanks for being there to listen to me(:
ILY!

PRIS:
you're like my closest sister-in-christ!
we were in the same class since sec1,
and same cell since around p4?
I am really thankful to have known you,
I really enjoyed the times I've spent with you,
during lunches before service.
you were there to talk to when I felt like suck-ish (:
you and your bubbly self cheered anyone up,
and your laugh is hahahah, contagious.
and even if we don't go to the same class,
you'll always be a dear friend to me (:
LOVE <333!

haha, I know its kind of weird to start posting dedications on my birthday,
but don't you agree that friends are the ones that make birthdays fun and enjoyable?
thanks anw to those who wished me happy birthday :D

and min-en, 57 days!

2008-10-18T21:58:00.005+08:00

I LOVE YOU MIN-EN <333
I'm still veryveryveryveryvrey surprised.
THANKS :D,
it must've taken you quite a lot of time to write all those,
and draw all those nice stuff,
and make that braided string thing :DDDDDDDD
you reallyreallyreally made my day.

alrigt, I spent practically the whole day at school today,
felt very tired,
wanted to sleep the minute I stepped into the house.
but no,
my parents wanted me to pack up my stuff,
so I was 'quarantined' in the room.
then suddenly my dad came in and passed me the envelope,
and when I saw the 'return-to' address,
I was jumping up and down :D
and I shall dedicate this post to her(:

MIN-EN:
it was really nice of you to send something over for my birthday,
and very touching tooo :DDDD
I mean, you're in Australia!
You're truly a great friend,
even though we're like miles apart.
and you gave my 14th birthday a memorable start :D
really nice of you to like send me a card and other cool stuffs,
the stuff were really nice and unique,
and you're still somemore like idk how many kilometres away!
first time I received mail from overseas,
and still somemore for my birthday,
and from such a great friend like you ((:

as I looked at the piglet you gave me ((:
and also while looking through the pictures!

all the memories of P6 suddenly came back,
Haha, ILY <333
can't wait to see you in Singapore yes!

2008-10-17T18:40:00.003+08:00

let's blow bubbless :D
gahhhh.
it's the weekends already,
today was alright,
as usual,
the NEVER-ENDING crapping time with menglu and jolyn.
hahhhhhhhh.
in the morning,
we had to do this character assist survey during silent reading,
then art was like free period,
cause Ms Ng wasn't in the art room.
after which we had math,
learning about congruence and similarity.

then, there was fire drill,
which took up half of our recess ):
then it was D&T :DD
we just waited at the D&T room area,
then xinyu wanted to play volleyball.
in the end, she got a basketball.
then me, bihui, trisha, menglu and xinyu,
we started snatching the ball from one another,
and hence started playing the monkey gamee.
i guess we were jumping like monkeys trying to get the ball :D
hah, then we got bored of monkey-ing,
so we played like a match,
me and meng team up against xinyu and bihui.
haha, but in the end it didn't work,
but it did succeed in getting us all sweaty.

I guess things like that,
which I never really liked,
can get real fun and surprisingly enjoyable with friends :D
haha, kind of fun playing some unknown game,
trying to snatch the ball from one another,
not having to go by any specific rule,
but just simply having fun,
even better than PE.
hahhhhhh.

yeah, so after that was the oscar career thing,
then we had IT lesson,
and school ended :DDD

2008-10-15T19:30:00.003+08:00

hello ((:
today we had sexuality worskshop.
The people that came down to give us the talk,
gave us this black notebook which was rather nice :)
okay, the funfun part was that we were given sweets or chocolates for answering question.
at the end of the work shop, we took this card and then signed it,
to pledge that we do not have sex till after marriage.
then after the sexuality workshop,
there was chapel.
today was rather tiring lah,
or if not it's because I slept late.
in the past hour,
I've deleted 880 pictures ((:
cause it's eaither they have a duplicate,
or they just brings back undesirable memories.
and i've sort the rest into folders.
so its not so cluttered and messy.
it's dinner now,
but don't feel hungry,
ate lunch at four D;

so close, but so far away;
when will this ever take a turn.

2008-10-14T21:10:00.003+08:00

omgomgomg.
this is the LOVE.
strawberry cheesecake((:
this was bought from the pie shop in whitesandsss.

today was founder's day.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PL :D
so today had to wear blazer with court shoes.
haha, jolyn received awards today,
two somemore :DD
CONGRATS JO!

yesterday was the enrichment programme.
chinese enrichment was to paint this mask,
some cheena face.
with big eyes,
or rather, big FREAKY eyes,
and then the teacher took mine away.
it was somewhat a good thing,
cause I wont get freaked if i see it lying around the house.
then we had skincare and feminine hygiene talk.
oh, then after school,
me, bihui and ruby stayed back to pack gifts for founder's day.

should I just quit one of them,
cause it seems so hard to cope with it all.
they say that I'm halfway there,why quit.
but the truth is,
i'm barely a quarter there.

2008-10-12T18:59:00.004+08:00

hurhurh.
lunched with pris today,
then church-ed.

I want the leona lewis cd(:
I want a myuk wallet((:
I want to pierce my ears(((:
I want to go out with jolyn and menglu((((:
I want to get rid of all my sec2 stuff, so that my room would be clutter free.
I want to eat a cupcake.
I want my white hairband back.
I want my white stolen phone back.
I want to change for the better.

I wished there wasn't a need to go back to school tomorrow.

I wished jolyn was online now(:

I want to sleep but I can't, cause its too early.

I shall just go and pack my room.

I don't want to become a blogging addict.

I WANT TO STOP BLOGGING SO MUCH.

2008-10-11T23:47:00.002+08:00

I WANT CUPCAKES <33

today i used computer for like,
pratically the whole day.
my eyesight is probably deteriorating by now.
hurhur.
gah, I really not sure about my choice for the subject combination.
will I get in or not.
I really really really want and wish to be in the same class as jo and meng.
and when i took back my report book yesterday for copying down my term2 results,
there was still hope.
Lord, please help me make a good decision.
and its 8 days till 14,
and the only happy thing about it is I'm getting older.
hurh.

2008-10-10T18:17:00.003+08:00

the rest of the results came out today.
well, they were alright except for english.
whether they are good or bad or just average,
PRAISE GOD :D

english was quite badly done,
hence the low marks.
but heh, what's done been done already,
no point brooding about it.
i just hope that there's still hope of being in the same class as jo and meng((:
and the subject that's causing all these is ENGLISH.
just because of one summary which i don't know what happened,
everything is worthless.
sometimes its like whats the point of scoring well for the other subjects.

other than the release of results,
nothing much happened.
my dad brought me home :DDD
and bought home cottage pies for lunch.
and my eyes are still pain D:

and so the day went by, from tears to smiles.
God please help me to make the right decision for the subject combinations,
and the final outcome is in Your hands.

2008-10-09T20:54:00.002+08:00

hello wello ((:
now, i'm multitasking.
playing minesweep with jo online,
watching youtube,
searching for ski hotels in japan,
and searching for air flights.
i feel so obedient.
hahaha, helping my parents with the planning.
i think tokyo and hokkaido is gonna be cool((:

ohohoh, i forgotten to introduce the picture.
but should be quite familiar right?
yupps,
Winter 2006,
Taken from the Seine River,
Paris, France :D

its so cool right!
the Eiffel Tower ( if you haven't realised),
would sparkle every hour after 6 or 7,
for eight minutes((:
really pretty sight.
the structure of the tower is cool too.

gah, waht to say about today,
results were shocking,
tmr's is gonna be worse?
i hope not,
tomorrow is all the important subjects,
english, math science.
determines everything.
there's a minimum mark of each of those three subjects to go to certain classes.
we got our option form today.
and there was dance today,
but all our effort to be fit after all those push ups and sit ups,
was wasted.
i ate junk food for dinner.
KFC.
gah.
my eyes are very pain, feels swollen.
i shall continue my search for flights.
toodles.

nothing more to write,
its kinda weird not having a particular mood,
its like moodless.

2008-10-08T20:52:00.004+08:00

Christmas time,

Canal City,

Fukuoka, Japan.

this is another nice picture ((:

and this picture is quite a contrast to how I feel now.

i'm scared about tomorrow.

tomorrow and friday is it.

whatever that comes out,

no more changes.

there's no need to wait for the marks sheet,

its all said in the exam papers.

we can calculate our overall and then face the truth and reality of it all.

darn. so darn scared.

I guess I can't really accept changes.

and tomorrow's gonna be a LONGLONG day,

with cca and all.

help.

2008-10-07T21:33:00.003+08:00

Christmas time (2007),
Canal City,
Fukuoka, Japan(:

Isn't this so pretty? :D
haha, i randomly picked this picture.
Japan is a really really nice place (:
Canal City was like this mega shopping mall.

haha, nothing much to talk about today.
went to school,
and APPLE COMPUTERS are detestable.
or more likely, I-Movie.
gah, left at like one plus,
then had to walk back in the drizzle):
then I slept/bathed/watched tv/ate at my grandmother's house,
till my mum came.

haha, good thing we finished our IW,
so now can rest and SLACK.

and I so can't wait for school to close,
or just declare holidays for us.